Thursday, January 16, 2014

Very Thankful Thursday: Back to Reality

For three months, I lived in a fantasy world in which I was a stay-at-home mom who took her kids to the park and went to the gym and grocery shopped all while the sun was still visible.  She slept in when the kids allowed and stayed up late when she wanted.  Sometimes she worked on her blog and sometimes she cleaned.  Sometimes, she did nothing at all.  She didn’t wear much makeup.  She took baths.  She read books.  Today she went back to work, back to reality.

I’m thankful for so many conflicting things this week.  I’m thankful for what was and what is.  For my stay at home and for my trek to work.  For the freedom I’m leaving behind and the structure I’m stepping back into.  For the tears I shed before leaving my kids this morning.  For the laughter I shared with my co-workers today.  It was a tough, wonderful day.  I didn’t think I’d be so emotional, so hurt and so happy all at once.

I am a mom but I’m also an employee, a co-worker, a supervisor and a best friend to the person who, in my absence, performed her job and mine.  It was time to jump back into those roles and out of the fantasy.  I think if I were a real stay-at-home mom it would have been ok longterm, but I’m not.  While my kids are my number one priority, I have responsibilities at work as well.  These two things balance me.  They provide relief from one another and each helps me to appreciate the other even more.

To say today was bittersweet would be an understatement, but I’m thankful for it just the same.

What are you thankful for this week?  Can you think of an event that made you extremely grateful despite the mixed emotions it created in you?  Let me know!!

<3 n

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